Time Flies

I have officially been in Tanzania for two months, which also means I have now been here longer than I was the last time. It’s crazy because those two months felt so long back then. I remember leaving and being so scared to be so far away from home in a place so foreign to me for that length of time. I ugly cried at the airport when my mom dropped me off. Even though I had just studied abroad for four months that fall, this felt like a whole new ball game. I felt unprepared and completely overwhelmed. There were so many unknowns and so many ways my brain was telling me things could go wrong. But two months later, I was crying at the airport again, this time because I didn’t want to go home.

Before coming back to Tanzania, I think I had a very clear picture in my head of what it would be like. But honestly, thus far, it almost doesn’t feel like I’ve been back to the Tanzania of my prior Tanzania experience. Partly because I quite literally haven’t been to any of the places that I spent time when I was here 4 years ago. But partly also because I’m here in such a different capacity. Even though technically I was here for an internship last time, I ended up just doing a lot of traveling around and I felt much more like a tourist. This time, I’m really focusing on getting to know Tanzanian culture and becoming a real member of the community I’ll be living in for the next two years.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t have certain expectations in coming back to Tanzania based on when I was here last time. As some of you know and as I may explain further in a future blog post, my experience here was quite literally life changing. And that was a big reason I decided to come back. A huge part of me wanted to find something that I felt like I lost when I was here last time. Or to regain a certain feeling that I had. Or to find some closure. I don’t know if those expectations were realistic or not. I don’t know if things will pan out the way I hope. I guess it’s still too early to tell. But luckily, I’ve got two more years to figure it all out.

Stay tuned.